It's a WRITER'S LIFE
first day of summer
first day of summer
and crazy hot
especially when
works, the AC does not,
tempers flare,
words are said,
and we wish
we were dead,
feelings are hurt,
relationships end,
it's all difficult
to comprehend,
it's time again
to stand tall,
and pretend that it doesn't
matter at all,
regrets are all
a part of life,
so is anger, joy,
fear and strife,
when all we do
is fuss and fight
it's time to say adieu
and head off into the night,
goodbye my friend,
goodbye my lover,
fear not, for I,
shall always recover.
Copyright © 2011 by Shawn Ann Murray
and crazy hot
especially when
works, the AC does not,
tempers flare,
words are said,
and we wish
we were dead,
feelings are hurt,
relationships end,
it's all difficult
to comprehend,
it's time again
to stand tall,
and pretend that it doesn't
matter at all,
regrets are all
a part of life,
so is anger, joy,
fear and strife,
when all we do
is fuss and fight
it's time to say adieu
and head off into the night,
goodbye my friend,
goodbye my lover,
fear not, for I,
shall always recover.
Copyright © 2011 by Shawn Ann Murray
capital self-punishment
Deeply
Emotional
Prayer
Request
Expressed
Simply,
Sincerely
In hopes
Of getting
Noticed
& instead make a
Stone of my heart
Under all the pressure,
Insides that want to explode
Since things only seem to get worse
Instead of getting better while
Darkness overtakes me and I just want it all to
End.
Emotional
Prayer
Request
Expressed
Simply,
Sincerely
In hopes
Of getting
Noticed
& instead make a
Stone of my heart
Under all the pressure,
Insides that want to explode
Since things only seem to get worse
Instead of getting better while
Darkness overtakes me and I just want it all to
End.
computer...er, user, disfunction
big black five hunderd dollar MP3 player
turned paperweight
when the cost of fixing my computer
grows higher than the original price,
lost files and downloads and
eighteen months of writing, and more,
stuck on a hard drive with a useless
motherboard,
it's enough to send me overboard;
nuts, crazy, insane and my cheese
slowly slides off my cracker
and makes me want to throw
the damn thing off a cliff
Copyright © 2011 by Shawn Ann Murray
turned paperweight
when the cost of fixing my computer
grows higher than the original price,
lost files and downloads and
eighteen months of writing, and more,
stuck on a hard drive with a useless
motherboard,
it's enough to send me overboard;
nuts, crazy, insane and my cheese
slowly slides off my cracker
and makes me want to throw
the damn thing off a cliff
Copyright © 2011 by Shawn Ann Murray
ideas
from where do ideas come?
I know, the brain, you may say,
or the mind, but it wasn't there
yesterday,
or even a moment earlier,
do they come from God,
a Higher Power, Universal Consciousness?
or is it just gray matter
coming together in new and unique ways?
I know I wasn't that smart,
or creative, or thoughtful
in all my many previous days,
to add a thought, one to another,
and build upon all that came before,
if only I had these ideas so long ago,
my own ignorance, I may have cured.
Copyright © 2011 by Shawn Ann Murray
I know, the brain, you may say,
or the mind, but it wasn't there
yesterday,
or even a moment earlier,
do they come from God,
a Higher Power, Universal Consciousness?
or is it just gray matter
coming together in new and unique ways?
I know I wasn't that smart,
or creative, or thoughtful
in all my many previous days,
to add a thought, one to another,
and build upon all that came before,
if only I had these ideas so long ago,
my own ignorance, I may have cured.
Copyright © 2011 by Shawn Ann Murray
silent cell
my cell sits strangely quiet these days
it doesn't beep, or ring, or even sing,
I often wonder if it will be today,
from you, a message, my cell will bring,
a best friend you said, I probably was,
or the closest thing to one, I would be,
hateful words isn't what a best friend does,
and pushing me away seemed so easy,
maybe I didn't deserve a best friend,
if I took you for granted, I apologize,
maybe you're far better off in the end,
no more secrets, and no more lies,
I'm writing again, a few words a day,
I would text you to share the news,
if it makes you happy, it's hard to say,
a writer must always pay her dues,
a writer is a writer, is always a writer,
even when she takes a much needed break,
when she feels the words are trying to fight her,
and she shouldn't feel like it's a big mistake,
this thing, I'm unsure that we can mend,
the trust has surely broken down,
but I miss the one I called my friend,
as my cell sits not making a sound.
Copyright © 2011 by Shawn Ann Murray
it doesn't beep, or ring, or even sing,
I often wonder if it will be today,
from you, a message, my cell will bring,
a best friend you said, I probably was,
or the closest thing to one, I would be,
hateful words isn't what a best friend does,
and pushing me away seemed so easy,
maybe I didn't deserve a best friend,
if I took you for granted, I apologize,
maybe you're far better off in the end,
no more secrets, and no more lies,
I'm writing again, a few words a day,
I would text you to share the news,
if it makes you happy, it's hard to say,
a writer must always pay her dues,
a writer is a writer, is always a writer,
even when she takes a much needed break,
when she feels the words are trying to fight her,
and she shouldn't feel like it's a big mistake,
this thing, I'm unsure that we can mend,
the trust has surely broken down,
but I miss the one I called my friend,
as my cell sits not making a sound.
Copyright © 2011 by Shawn Ann Murray
Half way through 2011 and changes, changes everywhere...
Began the New Year in a relationship where we dabbled with the idea of marriage only to have it end abruptly.
Another friendship ended abruptly.
I've taken a sabbatical from writing, for the most part, even though poetry seems to pouring forth every free moment I have.
And free moments are scarce right now.
Spent the last week and a half moving all my things from one place to another, in between being nanny to two fabulous 8 year old twin girls (believe that?).
Financial responsibilities have been dramatically decreased and looking forward to getting out of debt, improving my credit, having a reliable car, traveling and setting a goal for purchasing my own house in the next 3 - 5 years.
Ended another friendship when she just couldn't avoid one particular taboo subject.
Feeling an overwhelming urge to draw and paint - once I get everything unpacked and moved into the new place.
Decided that being single is not the end of the world and probably preferable at this stage in my life.
And going for a job interview next week.
Even thinking about going back to school.
And I'm actually feeling rather great.
And getting a tan.
My new place has a community pool and the girls like to swim. Yeah!!! Spent four days in the water already. And the community has been very warm and welcoming.
And my brain seems to be producing adrenaline or something.Thoughts of submitting my writing seem to be swirling around in my brain. A lot. Once the Muse kicks in again, I think I'm gonna be busy. I can hear her knocking around in my head. Maybe she's as disoriented as I am right now. Watch out when she straightens up and decides to fly right. I think I'll be on fire.
Right now, it's just nice to not be badgering myself about writing and then beat myself up when I don't. I started a new journal the second official day I was in my new place. Day One I had to go back to work after taking a weeks vacation to move.
Despite the J.O.B., I feel like a new person and I look forward to what the day has to offer. Depression doesn't seem to be lurking around every corner anymore. Life's looking up. And believe it or not, I'm happy.
Another friendship ended abruptly.
I've taken a sabbatical from writing, for the most part, even though poetry seems to pouring forth every free moment I have.
And free moments are scarce right now.
Spent the last week and a half moving all my things from one place to another, in between being nanny to two fabulous 8 year old twin girls (believe that?).
Financial responsibilities have been dramatically decreased and looking forward to getting out of debt, improving my credit, having a reliable car, traveling and setting a goal for purchasing my own house in the next 3 - 5 years.
Ended another friendship when she just couldn't avoid one particular taboo subject.
Feeling an overwhelming urge to draw and paint - once I get everything unpacked and moved into the new place.
Decided that being single is not the end of the world and probably preferable at this stage in my life.
And going for a job interview next week.
Even thinking about going back to school.
And I'm actually feeling rather great.
And getting a tan.
My new place has a community pool and the girls like to swim. Yeah!!! Spent four days in the water already. And the community has been very warm and welcoming.
And my brain seems to be producing adrenaline or something.Thoughts of submitting my writing seem to be swirling around in my brain. A lot. Once the Muse kicks in again, I think I'm gonna be busy. I can hear her knocking around in my head. Maybe she's as disoriented as I am right now. Watch out when she straightens up and decides to fly right. I think I'll be on fire.
Right now, it's just nice to not be badgering myself about writing and then beat myself up when I don't. I started a new journal the second official day I was in my new place. Day One I had to go back to work after taking a weeks vacation to move.
Despite the J.O.B., I feel like a new person and I look forward to what the day has to offer. Depression doesn't seem to be lurking around every corner anymore. Life's looking up. And believe it or not, I'm happy.
wedding bell blues
packed up my wedding dress today,
not because the day was behind me,
the date set on the calendar,
just wasn't meant to be,
Copyright © 2011 by Shawn Ann Murray
not because the day was behind me,
the date set on the calendar,
just wasn't meant to be,
Copyright © 2011 by Shawn Ann Murray
mixed messages
you crossed my mind today,
it left me without words to say,
in that moment I missed you,
and wondered if you missed me too,
I really thought we were friends,
it came as such a shock in the end,
but I knew a long time ago,
a Christmas Party invite would never show,
you walked a fine line and never crossed,
I'm sure pressure on you came at a high cost,
I shouldn't have been so surprised,
maybe this is a blessing in disguise,
you need not worry, I will survive,
in question, is whether I will thrive,
I just need some quiet time to reflect,
to withdraw and disconnect,
it's all now water under the bridge,
the expanding gorge hard to abridge,
everything gained, now is all lost,
memories, I now need to toss,
compassion is always in short supply,
when all someone does is whine and cry,
I apologize for my part in the whole charade,
your point of view has clearly been made,
lessons learned and mistakes not to be made again,
I bid adieu to someone I thought was my friend.
it left me without words to say,
in that moment I missed you,
and wondered if you missed me too,
I really thought we were friends,
it came as such a shock in the end,
but I knew a long time ago,
a Christmas Party invite would never show,
you walked a fine line and never crossed,
I'm sure pressure on you came at a high cost,
I shouldn't have been so surprised,
maybe this is a blessing in disguise,
you need not worry, I will survive,
in question, is whether I will thrive,
I just need some quiet time to reflect,
to withdraw and disconnect,
it's all now water under the bridge,
the expanding gorge hard to abridge,
everything gained, now is all lost,
memories, I now need to toss,
compassion is always in short supply,
when all someone does is whine and cry,
I apologize for my part in the whole charade,
your point of view has clearly been made,
lessons learned and mistakes not to be made again,
I bid adieu to someone I thought was my friend.
Curse You
Damn you, Mr. King,
poetry, in my ear, now rings,
poems pour forth all the time,
and now all my lines have to rhyme,
I'm sure that will make you grin,
see, you still get under my skin,
Copyright © 2011 by Shawn Ann Murray
poetry, in my ear, now rings,
poems pour forth all the time,
and now all my lines have to rhyme,
I'm sure that will make you grin,
see, you still get under my skin,
Copyright © 2011 by Shawn Ann Murray
time will tell
when I woke the other morning,
the day felt strangely rewarding,
I fought and lost a much loved friend,
and a love relationship came to an end,
both of which I thought I'd mourn forever,
but feeling free? I thought I'd never,
suddenly I had to stand on my own two feet,
no more complaining or feelings of defeat,
I'm sure my sorrows are far from an end,
and my soul just needs time to mend,
but stronger, I feel each and every day,
hard to believe, I'm sure you'll say,
only time will tell and truth will emerge,
but enable me - you will no longer feel the urge,
so thank you for all you've done and said,
your words will ring inside my head,
I wish you peace, happiness, joy and love,
and all the blessings from above,
as I'm sure you wish the same for me,
but now it's time for me to fly free,
by Shawn Ann Murray ©2011
the day felt strangely rewarding,
I fought and lost a much loved friend,
and a love relationship came to an end,
both of which I thought I'd mourn forever,
but feeling free? I thought I'd never,
suddenly I had to stand on my own two feet,
no more complaining or feelings of defeat,
I'm sure my sorrows are far from an end,
and my soul just needs time to mend,
but stronger, I feel each and every day,
hard to believe, I'm sure you'll say,
only time will tell and truth will emerge,
but enable me - you will no longer feel the urge,
so thank you for all you've done and said,
your words will ring inside my head,
I wish you peace, happiness, joy and love,
and all the blessings from above,
as I'm sure you wish the same for me,
but now it's time for me to fly free,
by Shawn Ann Murray ©2011
c'est moi!
